Check out this bad larry. It's the Timex E Tide Temp watch. Lately I've been trying to get classy, and I'm a geek for functionality. I can't tell you how many comments I've had on this watch. It's huge, and it looks expensive, but it only cost $165.

Best yet, if you buy it from REI, you get  the benefit of the no-questions-asked return policy. I broke one somehow (probably carrying kayaks), and I got a replacement shipped to my door in a few short days.

What makes this watch stand out, beside the fact that it is a half inch thick? Well, for starters it has a thermometer. It never really works. Usually it reads ~98 degrees, which isn't odd because it's on my wrist 24-7. If I take it off and let it come to thermal equilibrium, then it works fine. -1 point, Timex.

So what, you say. Well this thing has a compass built into it. Even my droid has one of these built into it, but since it is mounted on my wrist, it's a badass tool for sea-kayaking. It has a rotating bezel on the outside, which makes it look even more scary. oooooh!

Speaking of sea kayaking, do you like the ocean? Well this sucker has a tide clock built into it. It's set to a rough estimate, and it doesn't take solar gravity or latitude into account, but it stays accurate within 1 hour of tides for about three days. Next stop, Ireland! That saves me from having to consult charts three times a day when I lead kayak tours.

Finally, the watch part... The rubberized band has a red stripe that corresponds to your heading. I have been really fond of tritium illuminated watches (I wore a Maratac Navigator for a long time), but this one just has regular glow-in-the-dark paint  on the hands and ticks. It also displays the date, which is a lifesaver when I write checks to buy hookers. I mean to pay my student loans.

Check it out in person, you might be able to be as classy as me someday.